Let's start at the beginning. I always knew I wanted to have children, but I had career goals too. Since I got married at 21 years old, I knew I had plenty of time. Except for the fact that I’ve decided I would prefer to be done having children by the time I’m 30 years old (for health reasons, being younger when we become empty nesters, etc.). My husband and I always said that if the Lord willed it, I would get pregnant before we planned it. I was able to kind of barely accomplish my goals in time.
Let me explain what I mean by “kind of barely” haha. We got married the summer before my last semester of undergrad. Then, I had an 8 month break from school before starting my 2 year Master’s program in Marriage and Family Therapy. So, getting through school was step 1, accomplished✅. Somewhere in there, I debated continuing my education for my PhD but decided I was burnt out and tired of putting off life. I applied for 2 licenses and was finally able to call myself Natalie Willard, M.A., PLPC, PLMFT. To some of you, that might just sound like a bunch of letters. Basically, I have 2 provisional licenses that require licensure exams, tons of supervision hours, and thousands of client contact hours to apply and receive the full licenses. As you can guess, this takes a long time, anywhere from 2 to 6 years. I didn’t want to wait until I was fully licensed so I decided that I wanted to pass my licensure exams before getting pregnant so the months of studying and stress would not be on my body during pregnancy. I passed the NMFTE 6 months after graduation and the NCE 6 months after that! Here’s the “kind of barely” part. I was 6 weeks pregnant taking the NCE (a 4 hour exam) with the screen making me nauseous and throwing up in the bathroom somewhere in the middle of it, but I passed!
We did plan to get pregnant at that time. It just happened a little quicker than we expected. After my husband and I had a conversation, we decided that I would stop taking birth control because we were ready to start growing our family! My doctor had previously told me that because I’m healthy, she expected me to get pregnant anywhere from 1-3 months of trying. So that I wouldn’t be too hopeful, I thought it would happen after 2 months of trying. Well, I was wrong. First month of trying, 1 week before my expected period, I had CRAZY cramping. Of course, I’m googling like a mad woman, but I just thought there’s no way. My expected period was on Saturday. Friday morning, I remember telling my husband that I thought my body was angry at me for being on birth control for years and I was about to have the worst period of my life. We were leaving town to go see THE TAYLOR SWIFT (yes, I’m a proud Swiftie) with his cousin. I chose not to take any pregnancy tests with me since there was no way I could keep my mouth shut if I was. That night, the cramping woke me out of a dead sleep but no period so in my confused sleepy state, I went back to sleep. Saturday night at the concert, I was thinking “this is weird… maybe I am pregnant”. Sunday, we make our way back home and still no sign of a period. So what is the first thing I do when I get home? Go take a test, just in case haha. I tried to secretly do it, but my husband was being nosy, so he knew what I was doing. He had convinced himself that I wasn’t pregnant, so he sat in the living room watching YouTube. My husband’s parents had difficulty getting pregnant with him so in his mind this would take a while to happen. I had some cheap strip tests and before I knew it there were 2 BOLD lines! I’m just in a state of shock so just in case, I grab another test and what do you know… 2 more BOLD lines!!
Tears are flowing as I fall to the bathroom floor in shock. I walked out into the living room after a minute and said “I think I’m pregnant, come look”. Before he could say anything I asked him to take me to CVS because I needed to see the word PREGNANT on the test. I know I’m not alone in this, mamas! I think within 1 minute it popped up confirming that it was true! We were shocked and excited, of course! The emotions were not what I expected. It was shock, happiness, joy, and the “oh my gosh, my whole life just changed in a moment”. As we talked, I didn’t even feel like I was talking about me, like it was someone else. After that came the joy and telling family and friends which made it even more real for me!
I want to take a moment to recognize that I know how extremely blessed I was with my pregnancy and that my story is not like some others. I’m thinking and praying for the women and families who are struggling and have struggled. I don’t know if there’s anything I could say that would be uplifting or encouraging. But I will say that there are people who love you and will be there to support you however you need. That could be friends, family, doctor, or a counselor/therapist. Find your support system and don’t be afraid to lean on them!
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